Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Days Past Ovulation - Day 4

I am currently four days past ovulation. Ten more to go before the big reveal. I hate the waiting...and the guessing. Try as I may, I cannot keep myself from obsessing over ever little ping and pain, convincing myself that, OMG, I can actually feel the egg trying to plant, or that I am so sensitive that I can feel my levels changing already - at day 4! Rubbish.

I really wish I could put it out of my mind. I've read so many blogs and diaries of women who have documented this 2 week stretch and it is always heartbreaking when it doesn't end in a positive test. And then you must suffer waiting another 2 weeks, just to have another crack at it and then wait some more. I tell you, it is enough to drive you mad.

I also really worry about - and this is silly because it is pointless - that I WILL get a positive result and then lose it after a few short weeks. Now that is heartbreak. And on top of everything that comes with a miscarriage, I'd have to start all. over. again.

Ugh! Torture. I need to work on my zen techniques.

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